you slip through the crevices

Why do you keep slipping through the crevices and back into my dreams. I thought I was over it. I thought I had swallowed the key to the lock. Evidently I was only fooling myself. You found a way in, only, in my dreams the bad memories never surface. It's a trick, I know. But how clever you are, leaving your bed at night and sneaking into my thoughts. I should know better, but somehow you slip into the crevices, and find a way to rattle my thoughts and leave me in a state of amnesia of everything that has happened. You can try. You can keep trying but I will come out of this victorious.

as tears dissolve on thy lips

Song-Goby by Kaki King

one of my sketches.
"Dear Prudence, open up your eyes."
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

I was thinking today about tears, how they are so beautiful because they are something that we as humans can't control and they represent something that is so universal. They are so free and wild and can come on at any given moment, and we can do nothing to stop them. They are something that is understood in every language and in every culture. Tears are truly beautiful. I wish I could collect them. But then again, that is another thing that makes them so beautiful; they stream out of our eyes one second and fall to the ground or dissolve on our lips the next second. Blood is like that too. It flows through all of us, keeps us alive, makes us blush when we are embarrassed or in love, gives us warmth, gives us life. Life is beautiful in that way. Blood and tears are something we all have in common. Sometimes I think we forget that. Sometimes we let cultural differences or language become a barrier and an excuse for not relating to others. Life is so delicate and so beautiful.

other images via wehearit.com

Baby Horse

As promised... pictures of the new baby horse Pauly. Lovely day with the family. Love them!

baby horse kisses are the best. The new baby Pauly

Goody. The pretty mama

mama and baby. And my Nana.... lovely and incredibly strong woman. Love her so much.

the puppies playing

My Place

View from my living room into the bedroom and my lovely plant next to my bed.

my window with vintage scarf and bamboo blinds as shade. Also view from my living room into the bedroom.

fortune on my headboard. Something I try and live by every day.

Buddha and my elephant sit on my bedpost and bring me good dreams when i sleep.

my china town lights and part of my living room

the living room. So nice to have as my own, separate from the rest of the house

one of my paintings and my incense and aloe

the bedroom

A while ago i took some pictures of my room with the intention of posting them and never got to it. Alas, the time has come. When i moved in the room had no furniture and no paint on the walls except for hot pink trim painted over with one layer of white paint (definitely did not do the job). With a lot of work and love i transformed the room and am pretty happy with it. I also share the rest of the house with my other roommates. I love having my own little living room to myself. I love making a place my own.

As for the rest of the day, I am off to the family farm. Dinner with the family and visiting the new baby horse. Pictures to come soon.

the pale has leaks

love

my baby
Song- His Hands Matched His Tongue by The Dear Hunter

"A long walk home, riddled with regret.

Uncommonly comfortable, but still I believe that in time I'll see just whats been weighing down on me.

An unearthy void, collapsed, exposing what was trapped, to release this serendipitous dissent.

The smell of smoke, the evening sky was bruised. Belated conversation, saturate anticipation for the answers that simply wont come, but not I, I wont ask. Forget my place amongst the grass. The leaves and the trees remember me and in my naivety it might be seen; the pale has leaks, and even if you put all your water into it, you end up with nothing left to drink. The well has gone dry and I with it."
-The Dear Hunter


I want to experience a life full of passion so much so that my whole body aches, shakes with longing. For something. Something more than this.


busy busy weekend.
working on the research paper.
birthday parties and such.
1 week left of school
then exams
then spring break.
It is killing me that I don't have plans yet for Spring break. Any ideas/takers??

sparrows and ladybugs

Life can be so overwhelming sometimes. I was trying to explain this feeling I have to someone the other day but words could not do it justice. Life is so big yet so small. So many choices, yet so short of a time. I am terrified of making the wrong choice in life and regretting my decisions later on.What a true tragedy that would be. How can you feel good about a your future when you haven't found something that truly drives you. I hate being alone. I think the cold weather just exacerbates the problem. I walk to class and the cold air whips my face and brings tears to my eyes. People don't talk, don't smile, because they are too cold. Life is quiet and still. This quiet makes me sad. it is not a peaceful quiet. It is a bitter quiet. I long to hear birds chirping. Sometimes I feel completely outside of my body, I look at my hands as I type this and they don't seem like my own hands. I miss that feeling of youth, of things undiscovered, when all things and ideas seemed sparkly and new. I need to view the world differently I think. I need to find myself again. I should not define myself by a person, but that is much easier said than done. Life is strange. That is all I can say. In the meantime.... music, coffee and friends are getting me through it.